Hey everyone, I’m currently heading to America. The coronavirus cut my 11 in 11 into 6, and I’m most definitely disappointed. My mind can’t wrap around the fact that I’m in an airport heading home when I was just tenting in Africa just a few days ago. I woke up on a Friday, heading off to a regular day of ministry in Swaziland, and came home to receive the news that we were being taken off the field within the next 48 hours.
As much as I missed home I wasn’t necessarily ready to come back. You see, my mind already pictured myself doing ministry in South Asia and Europe. I had planned to end my race strong by walking some of the Camino in Spain. I pictured my A Squad family celebrating together, having our final debrief, and making our bittersweet goodbye’s. I could see myself coming back home feeling accomplished in completing the call that the Lord wanted me to do. I pictured myself being home for a month, heading back to Gainesville, Georgia for PSL, and catching up with everyone on how they’re thriving and navigating their way back in America again. Instead, I’m on my way to Bridgewater, Virginia for a few days to debrief at our sweet coaches house.
The enemy has been shooting his arrows towards this mind of mine. I feel unaccomplished. I feel like there was so much more to learn. I’m afraid of the unknown because I thought I had 5 1/2 months to plan my future before coming home. I’m quite irritated that I have to suddenly say goodbye to the people that have become my family. However, within this same mind of mine the Voice of Truth is so much louder. My Father tells me well done my good and faithful servant. He tells me that the plans that I would have made if I had stayed on the field would have been less than perfect, and when it comes to my life He doesn’t settle for anything less than perfect. He tells me He’s proud of me. He tells me that He is close and that He is the Great Comforter of this broken heart of mine. He tells me that my ministry isn’t over just because I abruptly came home. He tells me that ministry is life and life is ministry. He tells me there is no need to fear because He knew this was going to happen way before I even signed up for the World Race. He tells me He will provide for my every need when I get home, just like He so faithfully did on the field. He brings joy in the midst of sadness. He brings peace in the midst of chaos. He doesn’t withhold anything good from me because He is a good Father. This isn’t the first time my life didn’t turn out as I planned, but this time I’m not letting the enemy have his way with my emotions. I have no plans for now, but I do have plans to dig deeper towards the Father, and cling onto every word Holy Spirit speaks to me during this time.
I have had the time of my life these last 5 1/2 months sharing the good news of Christ. Even if I’m not able to return to the foreign mission field, I will forever be grateful for the moments the Lord allowed me to have. I’m praising the Lord that I’m returning home a better person for Him and only Him.
To all of my A Squad leaders, thank you for making hard but wise decisions. Thank you for loving us enough to keep us safe. Thank you for pouring your wisdom, love, and lives into each and every one of us.
While I’m home, I would love if everyone would so graciously gave me time to sit with the Lord before answering any questions you might have. If you have recently messaged me and I have not answered, I am working on doing so when I’m ready. I ask that you join me in prayer for my beloved A Squad as many of us are grieving in different ways. I’m very much excited to see the faces that I’ve missed while on the field, and I want to thank everyone for loving me so well. I love everyone so much and I’ll see you soon.
Gonna go wash my hands now. 🙂
