Colombia, Colombia. Where do I begin, and where do I end?
To be honest, I’ve been putting off writing a blog about Colombia and the things the Lord has taught me because there’s so much to say. I wish I can take you through every detail about the month of October, but I can’t; and that in itself, even though it’s untrue,makes me feel like it’s not worth writing a blog. I’d like to apologize as I truly didn’t feel like my last blog was my best job. The day I wrote that blog I originally had typed up a very detailed piece, and then my computer shut down. I had lost everything I typed up; and out of frustration and wanting to get it over with, I just wrote what I could remember writing on the original blog and then gave a very weak and empty blog. I truly apologize if it came across very empty. I’ve returned determined to do my best and share some of things the Lord did for me in Colombia. 🙂
As you know from my last blog, I was doing ministry with Ciudad de Refugio located in Medellin, Colombia. If by any chance my pictures seemed as if I was on vacation in Colombia I assure you that I’m a true example of someone who tries to only post the good things about her life. Personally, I just don’t think it’s beneficial for me or anyone to share the hard parts of the World Race because it can easily come across as a spirit of ingratitude. I’m truly grateful for the experiences I’ve had thus far, although some of it may be hard and uncomfortable. If I share any detailed information in this blog about these hard and uncomfortable times it’s because I want to share how the Lord used them to help me grow and nothing else.
Coming in to Colombia, I personally was expecting the worst living conditions. I expected to be pitching up my tent on some dirt floor and taking bucket showers just like training camp. To my surprise, it wasn’t like that at all. My squad was set up with beds, blankets, and towels inside a side house with toilets and showers (freezing water but no buckets!). However, the moldy conditions of this house caused many of my squadmates to become ill, and we had to evacuate a week into settling in. I was quite fine with moving inside the foundation because it would probably mean less bugs, smells, and noises from the streets.
So here me and my friend, Kierin, go to another room called the “cumin room”. Why do they call it the cumin room, you ask? Well because there’s more or less 50 stacked boxes of packaged cumin in this one specific room so it smelled like…you guessed it…cumin. My initial thought was, “eh, I kinda like cumin so it’s not that bad I guess.”, but soon thereafter, Kierin and I realized that this room actually isn’t even a room. It’s just a big section of the foundations kitchen that is divided by tall stainless steel refrigerators and freezers. Haha My attitude during this time was still maybe at a solid 10. 10 being grateful that I didn’t have to set up my tent on a dirt floor. I was quite fine with the circumstances that were out of mine or anyone else’s control, until I was suddenly awakened by the sound of clanging pans along with the smell of frozen fish right at 5:30 in the morning. My spirit quickly became ungrateful. Sleep is precious to me and so are rooms that smell like anything but fish. I was distraught and was suddenly conveniently aware that my other teammates were living in somewhat better conditions than Kierin and I. Strange.
This same week I moved in the “cumin room”, I also entered rehab (that escalated quickly). Ciudad de Refugio, along with many other ministries, is a drug recovery program for men and women. Three girls in my team were given the opportunity and choice to enter the women’s program as a chance to connect with the 4 women in recovery and have some insight as to what they go through. At this time, my spirit was very exhausted and ungrateful about my living conditions, so I wasn’t about to trade what little amenities I had in my cumin room for some strict living conditions just so I can connect with women. Whoa, yeah, I just wrote that and I’m embarrassed. Vulnerability though, amiright?
Did I mention that one of the requests about the 3 girls joining the program was that they know some Spanish? Haha Guess who knows Spanish? Me.
So here I am feeling the Holy Spirit convicting me to partner with 2 of my friends that only know a decent amount of Spanish, and absolutely rejecting what He asks of me because I can only see what I’d lose if I said yes. Boom. This is gonna be a full circle lesson. Just wait.
Anyway, let’s fast forward through my selfish and ungrateful thought process to where I give in and say yes to the Holy Spirit. I joined the Race to share Jesus, but I also joined for personal spiritual growth knowing full well it would be uncomfortable. That’s the thought that the Holy Spirit used to push me to commit to joining rehab for 3 days, and live with these 4 women who I’ve only spoken to when they needed me to translate meal schedules to my team.
Everyday for 3 days, we did what the women in the program did, and we tried our best to follow the rules that they are required to follow. Everyday we woke up at 5 in the morning to get ready to start working in the kitchen by 5:30. Come to our surprise, that morning we were told that drinking coffee is not allowed for the first couple of months of joining the program. At first we didn’t understand why that would be rule until we realized that coffee too can be quite addictive. So instead of starting our day with a hot cup of joe (jk the ladies were nice enough to make us a cup) we started our day cutting, peeling, juicing, washing, cleaning, sweeping, and mopping all before eating breakfast at 8 a.m. Some more of the rules include: no coffee for the first couple months, no speaking to other women in the program for the first week and a half (if you’re new to the program), no eye contact or speaking to any men, no going outside unless it is required from you to do so, no painted fingernails, no cellphones, all gifts from other people are to be given to the leaders first (they can receive it when they complete the 1 year program), no trying foods that are in the kitchen without permission, family visits are done on Sundays and sometimes their children can sleepover on Saturday nights, and phone calls to family are once a week.
The 3 days we were with these women were uncomfortable and hard. Uncomfortable in taking freezing bucket showers, filling up buckets of water to flush down whatever goes in their toilets because their toilets don’t flush, and having very little privacy. Hard in waking up at 5:30 every morning, working long hours in the kitchen until sometimes 6 in the afternoon with maybe 2 breaks, and not being able to speak or see family or friends.
Through the discomfort and hardship the Holy Spirit spoke. These 4 women in the program had lived their lives in such darkness and pain that these hard regulations and expectations were worth it to become free from their addictions. Their testimonies of how the Holy Spirit worked in them to surrender their darkness and pain to the One who can deeply heal and destroy their addictions was inspirational and encouraging. Without any thought to it, they taught and impacted these 3 “seasoned” Christian girls. The Holy Spirit used these women to show me where I needed to personally grow and things I personally needed to let go of in order for that growth to happen.
By far, growth in gratitude was exactly what the Holy Spirit wanted from me. My ungrateful spirit was controlling most of my thoughts in Colombia, and I was quickly reminded of how much freedom and amenities I really had in my little cumin room. I can drink coffee, I can speak to people around me, and I can flush the toilet with an actual handle. I can speak to whoever I want about my Savior. I can go outside and enjoy my time with the Lord alone and not have someone babysit me and watch my every move. Whoa. Along with that, I learned that letting go for growth is hard, but it’s worth giving up the things you love the most if it means becoming what my Father wants me to be. It’s worth letting go of a tempting past, letting go of plans, letting go of dreams, letting go of control, letting go of idols and addictions for His promises of joy, peace, fulfillment, wisdom, and freedom.
These women are sweet new friends and will forever be in my heart. I wish to have their character and discipline to let go in order to receive the promises of our Father. Our second day with them (Friday is their day to go outside), we explored Colombia’s District 13. I fed off their child-like energy and excitement to see every sight and enjoy the opportunity to be outside. I’m not quite sure if I’m able to tell you their names, but if you have a chance, you can look at these pictures and keep them in your prayers to finish strong and fight with til the end.
I’m currently in Puertoviejo, Ecuador and very excited about what God has instore for me this month. This is a special country for me and I can’t wait to share why. Thank you so much for all your prayers. <3
